Going 90 miles an hour on Lover's Lane

Going 90 miles an hour on Lover's Lane

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Hanso Foundation
Location:
Santa Barbara, CA
Status:
Full Time, Employee
Job Category:
Biotechnology and Pharmaceutical
Job Description
Organ Courier


The successful applicant will combine not only a working knowledge of tissue-transplantation procedures and the latest pharmaceutical agents involved in this growing field, but also an ability for high-speed travel, diplomacy and an extensive knowledge of transit restrictions and regulations as well as traffic laws around the world. Fluency in at least five languages including French, German, Russian and Chinese is crucial - as is a willingness to achieve fluency in sub-saharan regional and tribal dialects. Knowledge of martial arts, self-defense and extensive weapons training is essential, but applicants willing to receive training in these areas will receive due consideration.
The Hanso Foundation
Contact Information
Company:
Hanso Foundation
Email:
mailto:info@thehansofoundation.org?Subject=Organ%20Courier
Click here to see all "Hanso" opportunities

I thought this would be an interesting job op, anyone out there!

SO, the gall bladder is gone. gone gone! And did it resolve any of my health matters, I would say no. So I went off today to see a COLON Dr. Yeah that was fun...I walked in saw the low table, a sheet, a tube of ky and a plastic speculum, and gloves, I just had a hunch this would not be good! The diagnosis is: my asshole is jacked! yup jacked, janky I am just going to put it out there for all the world to see. But no fear I am not putting home pics on the page! I wonder what the code is for a jacked asshole? Also it could be a fissure? What the hell is a fissure? I can tell you it is something you don't want to have--due to the "special apothecary" I had to go to get my "special tube of cream" which has to applied 3 x's a day==where is my pap perfect spatula when you need one? Do they have an anal fissure spatula? If they do , I want one with sparkles and glitter on it. Maybe even a James Avery charm dangling just for kicks! whaddy a say?
Also, I have to take "sample" of my stuff to the lab--I may have a parasite, I have to have a colonscopy-I may have a polyp. Polyp, lets see I have had polyps all over my body, sinus's, my uvula,(that is in your mouth for you non medical people)Fallopian tubes, ovary,uterus and cervix, and oh how can one forget about the giant polyp hanging off my gall bladder. Yes I am thinking about going by POLLY for now on! That is my name, don't wear it out. I am POLYP GIRL! Any one willing take bets on if they will find polyps in my colon and or asshole? I am thinking a 5 dollar wager could make you some money, a dollar a polyp? Screw Texas hold'em lets play polyp poker.....Ante up my friends...I need money for all my special creams!
I am not in the best moods and I am sick and tired of feeling like crap-literally! You know its bad when krispy cremes don't even make me feel better. By the way I told that to my ass doctor? He raised and eyebrow and moved on to the next room. Guess he's just not one of my people.

Speaking of my people, you know who you are! A- you are the best, my rock and I look forward hanging out this weekend! B- tell your friend at the SMACKBOX COUNTER HE NEEDS TO COME THROUGH WITH SOME SAMPLES. I know he has all kind of cosmetics laying around that janky apartment of his....When is jai coming back in town? I know he will come through for me! I can tell he has some sticky fingers!!!!
Brad-I wish you luck on serving up the ranch tonight and really we need to find you something out of the customer service industry! I know I get you and your friends get you, but after all you are one of my people and not all people get us! But we, love your surly dry sarcastic sense of humor! And by the way they are making fast food nation into a movie,, so lets put that on our list! We really should have a summer movie project....We could do a movie on customer service!!!
and for all you other lurkers out there, leave me a message once in awhile!!!

On to season finale's --we had America's next top model-joanie should of won!!!
top chef- how excited that Harold won!
Bravo will be starting project runway soon---wow once again I will be glued to my TV all summer
I got my mother hooked on HSN over the weekend, oh the things we need for our house especially the wine sceptre- I have added a picture of this. I mean we all need this,,,It is a gift of a lifetime. Perfect for wedding, anniversary or Christmas present. And you can even get it engraved. I cant load the picture, of course not...But look it up...If you need a present for the person who has everything...Get the wine sceptre! That is the deal of the day!http://www.winesceptre.com/html.html

what's next? Oh yes LOST. Ok who else is into the show?
the season finale was last night ...I really want my 2 years back! And I still haven't figured anything out. Just for those reading this -there is NO HIDDEN BINARY CODE IN THIS BLOG AT THIS TIME....."
I have found most of the Easter eggs at the hanso foundation web site, but I do periodically check in with Persephone for new updates--omigod did I just say that out loud? Hey b- I need a t shirt "SAVE JOOP" put that on my list as well as "TOOL AND DOUCHEBAG"
So does anyone beside me have any ideas on LOST? Where are they? Who are they? Are they all twins? Huh' cause that really was jack in Iceland making the phone call! Yes I will confirm that!

I have nothing new on mcdreamy or the office girls at this time, check back next week I will have more updates!

I am out-snackbox!

Well here I am .. Another day in Paradise! Or NOT.

At this time tomorrow I will be having a cholecystectomy=gall bladder removal.
In case you all don't know what the gall bladder is, here is the definition from my bedside medical dictionary: an organ in which bile from the liver is stored. Basically, this is where all the fatty foods you eat are broken down after it passes through your stomach!
This whole gall bladder thing started I would say about 2-3 months ago! I knew I had a gall bladder problem, but yet everyone just rolled their eyes at me and said "uh huh...Yeah let me know how that turns out!" But last week after working with MCdreamy for the entire week (that's an entire blog in itself) I asked for a CONSULTATION! I told him that I think I have a gall bladder problem, once he looked at me and said "fine, I will send you to the hospital for a sonogram, but really I don't think there is anything wrong with you" ....I make that appointment and guess what! I have freakin polyps on my gall bladder, oh no.. I just cant have the regular gall stones I have to have polyps. Who gets polyps on their gall bladder--I DO! I googled this and found out only 10% of the population in the entire WORLD gets polyps. And of course I would have this! Random diseases is my middle name! And you think I am kidding! So, I am off to the surgeon...And tomorrow is my surgery. This is where the good stuff comes in...Yesterday I had to have an EKG, so I called mcdreamy, to have that done. I go in, take off my t-shirt and bra and put on the paper vest...I am thinking he never does these, the girls in the office do...What do I care if they see my chest? But NO...I cant have a normal EKG, the results look like I am having a GRAND MAL seizure! I am not kidding...After the 8th try MCdreamy comes in and attempts to get this right! Hell NO, he can't ..After he has felt me up, removed my paper vest and totally man handled me.. He still cant get a reading. SO as I am laying there,like a girls gone wild in the doctors office video, he is re-arranging the leads on my left breast, I am thinking " At least I am on my back, this is pretty much the best position for me to be in while naked. Cause I don't think its real pretty if gravity was involved! Finally, he looks at me and tells me I am going to have to go to the hospital to get this done...Due to my boobs are too big for his MACHINE to work properly. I look at him and say I am just a "C" , he then looks down at my chest and says REALLY, a C? Huh? As I turn 5 shades of red, and think to myself oh this is so over, he so is never going to ask me out, IT IS SO OVER! And the worst part of this is... He chats with me in the room, I think he felt like he had to do the obligatory post-naked small talk thing! Like he had to take me to breakfast the next morning or something, or he was waiting for me to say "call me sometime". After it was all over he told me of course things just cant be easy with you... And I told him as I was walking out the door "its all about Julie"
So after this surgery, I have basically nothing left.. I am hoping soon, that I will be doing stupid human tricks with PASTA. And I am hoping I don't have to explain where the pasta goes and ends up to anyone out there.. Let your imagination run wild with that statement. I will be the only girl who can basically floss her entire body!! I only have an appendix left to be removed and if we go past that then I will end up with a BAG of some sort, I don't wish that upon myself or anyone else.
So while I am convalescing, I will be thinking of new tales to tell. And by the way, I need my friends to help me do some undercover investigative reporting . We need to go to happy hour at On the border, Lunch at Pei wei or even better a Friday nite spent at the cheesecake factory! OH YEAH,,, hours of entertainment there. I will wear my pointy shoes and dig out a Coach purse for this one! So lets set the date!

and just as a side note, here are some great oxymorons!
alone together, same difference, taped live, plastic glasses, working vacation, virtual reality, healthy tan--my personal favorite!

I am out! SNACKBOX