Well here I am .. Another day in Paradise! Or NOT.

At this time tomorrow I will be having a cholecystectomy=gall bladder removal.
In case you all don't know what the gall bladder is, here is the definition from my bedside medical dictionary: an organ in which bile from the liver is stored. Basically, this is where all the fatty foods you eat are broken down after it passes through your stomach!
This whole gall bladder thing started I would say about 2-3 months ago! I knew I had a gall bladder problem, but yet everyone just rolled their eyes at me and said "uh huh...Yeah let me know how that turns out!" But last week after working with MCdreamy for the entire week (that's an entire blog in itself) I asked for a CONSULTATION! I told him that I think I have a gall bladder problem, once he looked at me and said "fine, I will send you to the hospital for a sonogram, but really I don't think there is anything wrong with you" ....I make that appointment and guess what! I have freakin polyps on my gall bladder, oh no.. I just cant have the regular gall stones I have to have polyps. Who gets polyps on their gall bladder--I DO! I googled this and found out only 10% of the population in the entire WORLD gets polyps. And of course I would have this! Random diseases is my middle name! And you think I am kidding! So, I am off to the surgeon...And tomorrow is my surgery. This is where the good stuff comes in...Yesterday I had to have an EKG, so I called mcdreamy, to have that done. I go in, take off my t-shirt and bra and put on the paper vest...I am thinking he never does these, the girls in the office do...What do I care if they see my chest? But NO...I cant have a normal EKG, the results look like I am having a GRAND MAL seizure! I am not kidding...After the 8th try MCdreamy comes in and attempts to get this right! Hell NO, he can't ..After he has felt me up, removed my paper vest and totally man handled me.. He still cant get a reading. SO as I am laying there,like a girls gone wild in the doctors office video, he is re-arranging the leads on my left breast, I am thinking " At least I am on my back, this is pretty much the best position for me to be in while naked. Cause I don't think its real pretty if gravity was involved! Finally, he looks at me and tells me I am going to have to go to the hospital to get this done...Due to my boobs are too big for his MACHINE to work properly. I look at him and say I am just a "C" , he then looks down at my chest and says REALLY, a C? Huh? As I turn 5 shades of red, and think to myself oh this is so over, he so is never going to ask me out, IT IS SO OVER! And the worst part of this is... He chats with me in the room, I think he felt like he had to do the obligatory post-naked small talk thing! Like he had to take me to breakfast the next morning or something, or he was waiting for me to say "call me sometime". After it was all over he told me of course things just cant be easy with you... And I told him as I was walking out the door "its all about Julie"
So after this surgery, I have basically nothing left.. I am hoping soon, that I will be doing stupid human tricks with PASTA. And I am hoping I don't have to explain where the pasta goes and ends up to anyone out there.. Let your imagination run wild with that statement. I will be the only girl who can basically floss her entire body!! I only have an appendix left to be removed and if we go past that then I will end up with a BAG of some sort, I don't wish that upon myself or anyone else.
So while I am convalescing, I will be thinking of new tales to tell. And by the way, I need my friends to help me do some undercover investigative reporting . We need to go to happy hour at On the border, Lunch at Pei wei or even better a Friday nite spent at the cheesecake factory! OH YEAH,,, hours of entertainment there. I will wear my pointy shoes and dig out a Coach purse for this one! So lets set the date!

and just as a side note, here are some great oxymorons!
alone together, same difference, taped live, plastic glasses, working vacation, virtual reality, healthy tan--my personal favorite!

I am out! SNACKBOX