Yes the title of this blog is YOU DON'T EVER DO ANYTHING FOR ME AND THAT IS WHY I DRINK! Huh.....Well due to my great enabling characteristics I am dealing with an alcoholic brother. Who has not been to counseling...Even though me and the rest of the family are already on our 2nd rounds of therapy sessions. My answer to that is YOU ARE right I never do anything for you, I only bail you out of jail days at my qvc testimonial line job, call in for you when you are in jail, I drive you to work, I take you for long extended weekends 2 hours away so you can party with your cousins, I have taken you to get new work clothes, I have tack to go get drive thru when you are hungry, I have filled rxd's for you and I have taken you to the dr.s office when you are sick. So keep saying to yourself That I don't do anything for you. Keep it up keep it up. That is all I can say. I will no longer enable you, persecute you or become the family martyr. You just keep going Ryan and everything around is changing but you. Tell yourself those lies and think what ever you want. But I will no longer be held responsible for you!
Did you ever think to yourself that if you changed, got the help you need, maybe people would be more apt to do things for you. If I got a thank you once in awhile, things would be different. But you just take take take. Well I am taking it all back sonny boy. You are on your own and I will do nothing for you if that's what you think! And on that note I am out

ODE TO THE SMACK COUNTER!

Once again, I wake up sick! How does this happen? I went to bed feeling fine, I wake up and I am sick. I am all swollen, my ears,nose and throat hurts. ANd yes I go to Mcdreamy---I have nothing better to do in my life. If i had to pay co-pays I would have to seriously take out a loan. That 15.00 dr. visit would be killing me! And guess what I have sinusitis and an ear infection~really? I need TUBES, where's my tube jockey when I need one. I told Mcdreamy I need tubes, and you know what he said "that may not be a bad idea" Are you kidding me? Tubes at my age? My week of health so far to this date: Just want to remind you people this is just this week!--I have had a colonoscopy ( I decided against putting those pictures on today) I had two polyps removed- they are non cancerous-and I am not going to even tell you all what else they found. I feel like I may need to keep some things to myself. I had an adjustment-mcdreamy adjusted my back! Ahh that was a great moment! And now this earache and sinus thing. I got a big ol' shot in the ass! Let me tell you it has been all about the ass this week! YUP, the ass has called the shots this week...I really have no dignity left whatsoever...none, nada, zip
ANd i have to quit smoking...really as a take a drag, cough up something crunchy, there will be no more smoking! PAU!
lets move to a lighter note, I went and saw Bombay Dreams the musical last night, free tickets from my bff-who is awesome I must say. Boom chaka laka boom, it was OK, the music was good, but ya know It just wasnt the best, but i had a good time. I would give 3 stars and that is generous!
Ohhh I special shout out to the smackbox counter...the smackbox king left me a present the other day and I love it, I heart smackbox! Huh' I am just wondering what i have reward him with . I know there is an ulterior motive there...I just dont know what it could be....
ok well, i am going to find something to do and I will write more next week! I need to do the full tv lineup at some point this week. But i am out for now, snackbox!

Do you see the connection?

Just some random images for the day!!!

WWTCD-what would tom cruise do?

NEWSWEEK reported that a 40-year-old single woman was "more likely to be killed by a terrorist" than to ever marry.And a quick pause while I take my 10mg of Lexapro. As the day started off with a quick sniffle, sneeze and smoker's cough, I think to myself I am SICK- it has been a 12 days since my last visit with Mcdreamy-hell i have nothing on my schedule today. A quick visit to the doctor's office never hurt anyone-hell they dont even charge me co-pays anymore...i have nothing better to do than to talk about my ailments. As he comes in the room -takes a quick look at me and says"huh you don't look good, your usual luster is gone" NO shit sherlock, how many years of med school did it take to make that deductive reasoning statement? So we start on the symptoms and signs, I state the facts and make it quick! Yeah, he writes down nothing in his little notified and then starts in on " are you having suicidal thoughts-homicidal thoughts are Ok, as he chuckles-I give him the eye, are you kidding me you fellowship tithing online, Boston market loving jerk off, HOMICIDAL? Huh....Let me get my little book out, spin that wheel and give you a list!As we CUT BACK TO THE OFFICE VISIT: the drag diagnosis, sinus infection, even though my ear is hurting , there is no infection of course not, and the great big diagnosis is : DEPRESSION-here is a little pill that will make you feel better. Hey, i am all about a mood lifter/elevator/ mothers little helper. BUT... Is this it? So all my problems are mental .. YEAH note to friends-we all know i am a little off, but really is this it? So in 6 weeks I am supposed to check back with him. And the worst part of it all was i knew exactly what psych exam he was doing and I knew how to answer the questions! And those whores in the office are going to have to code that, so they are all going to know and That so will be in my permanent record!On a side note, Now that Mcdreamy knows I am Diagnosed with being craze , he is so never going to Marry me! As i left he awkwardly patted me on the back and told me that I was going to be OK! Vomit really did come up in my throat at that moment in time....As i drive home from my totally surreal moment in the doctor's office, i think of the humor in all this--THE ONLY THING THAT IS KEEPING MY GOING AT THIS TIME--gee, I wonder what Tom Cruise would say about this?
My other thing is i just googled lexapro and the web site is down? Great,,, make sure i keep my receipt.....And this all goes full circle to the janky pharmaceutical reps! FIST is all i have to say!
And here are the TV reviews:
Supergroup-wow all i can say is FIST! The quote of week goes to Mr. Ted Nugent "THE CUTER THE CRITTER, THE SWEETER THE MEAT" That definitely needs to be on a T-shirt! This show is so good, I was mesmorized, i need 24 hour live feed on Sebastian Bach! Unbelievable
Real world/fresh meat challenge- ohmygawd this is a train wreck but yet so compelling..i must have more. This is going to be a great season.
So what else is coming up? We have My fair Brady-a must see, hell's kitchen is starting June 12. Summer is going to be great for viewing pleasure! I will fake my tan, take my little sunshine pill and feel so much better about myself after watching these people on TV.
One more thing for all my friends out there....I need to be in the Pillsbury bake off- they pay 1 million dollars for the best recipe...I have one year...So i need recipes! And I am all about the gimmick-next time you are grocery shopping or cooking at the house and you see some contest on the box or package, give it to me! I could so come up with a crafty little jingle and I sure has hell can come up with some great recipe. It is going to my claim to fame! I am out! FIST! SNACKBOX!

Going 90 miles an hour on Lover's Lane

Going 90 miles an hour on Lover's Lane

Looking a for a new career?

Scroll down for my post!

Hanso Foundation
Location:
Santa Barbara, CA
Status:
Full Time, Employee
Job Category:
Biotechnology and Pharmaceutical
Job Description
Organ Courier


The successful applicant will combine not only a working knowledge of tissue-transplantation procedures and the latest pharmaceutical agents involved in this growing field, but also an ability for high-speed travel, diplomacy and an extensive knowledge of transit restrictions and regulations as well as traffic laws around the world. Fluency in at least five languages including French, German, Russian and Chinese is crucial - as is a willingness to achieve fluency in sub-saharan regional and tribal dialects. Knowledge of martial arts, self-defense and extensive weapons training is essential, but applicants willing to receive training in these areas will receive due consideration.
The Hanso Foundation
Contact Information
Company:
Hanso Foundation
Email:
mailto:info@thehansofoundation.org?Subject=Organ%20Courier
Click here to see all "Hanso" opportunities

I thought this would be an interesting job op, anyone out there!

SO, the gall bladder is gone. gone gone! And did it resolve any of my health matters, I would say no. So I went off today to see a COLON Dr. Yeah that was fun...I walked in saw the low table, a sheet, a tube of ky and a plastic speculum, and gloves, I just had a hunch this would not be good! The diagnosis is: my asshole is jacked! yup jacked, janky I am just going to put it out there for all the world to see. But no fear I am not putting home pics on the page! I wonder what the code is for a jacked asshole? Also it could be a fissure? What the hell is a fissure? I can tell you it is something you don't want to have--due to the "special apothecary" I had to go to get my "special tube of cream" which has to applied 3 x's a day==where is my pap perfect spatula when you need one? Do they have an anal fissure spatula? If they do , I want one with sparkles and glitter on it. Maybe even a James Avery charm dangling just for kicks! whaddy a say?
Also, I have to take "sample" of my stuff to the lab--I may have a parasite, I have to have a colonscopy-I may have a polyp. Polyp, lets see I have had polyps all over my body, sinus's, my uvula,(that is in your mouth for you non medical people)Fallopian tubes, ovary,uterus and cervix, and oh how can one forget about the giant polyp hanging off my gall bladder. Yes I am thinking about going by POLLY for now on! That is my name, don't wear it out. I am POLYP GIRL! Any one willing take bets on if they will find polyps in my colon and or asshole? I am thinking a 5 dollar wager could make you some money, a dollar a polyp? Screw Texas hold'em lets play polyp poker.....Ante up my friends...I need money for all my special creams!
I am not in the best moods and I am sick and tired of feeling like crap-literally! You know its bad when krispy cremes don't even make me feel better. By the way I told that to my ass doctor? He raised and eyebrow and moved on to the next room. Guess he's just not one of my people.

Speaking of my people, you know who you are! A- you are the best, my rock and I look forward hanging out this weekend! B- tell your friend at the SMACKBOX COUNTER HE NEEDS TO COME THROUGH WITH SOME SAMPLES. I know he has all kind of cosmetics laying around that janky apartment of his....When is jai coming back in town? I know he will come through for me! I can tell he has some sticky fingers!!!!
Brad-I wish you luck on serving up the ranch tonight and really we need to find you something out of the customer service industry! I know I get you and your friends get you, but after all you are one of my people and not all people get us! But we, love your surly dry sarcastic sense of humor! And by the way they are making fast food nation into a movie,, so lets put that on our list! We really should have a summer movie project....We could do a movie on customer service!!!
and for all you other lurkers out there, leave me a message once in awhile!!!

On to season finale's --we had America's next top model-joanie should of won!!!
top chef- how excited that Harold won!
Bravo will be starting project runway soon---wow once again I will be glued to my TV all summer
I got my mother hooked on HSN over the weekend, oh the things we need for our house especially the wine sceptre- I have added a picture of this. I mean we all need this,,,It is a gift of a lifetime. Perfect for wedding, anniversary or Christmas present. And you can even get it engraved. I cant load the picture, of course not...But look it up...If you need a present for the person who has everything...Get the wine sceptre! That is the deal of the day!http://www.winesceptre.com/html.html

what's next? Oh yes LOST. Ok who else is into the show?
the season finale was last night ...I really want my 2 years back! And I still haven't figured anything out. Just for those reading this -there is NO HIDDEN BINARY CODE IN THIS BLOG AT THIS TIME....."
I have found most of the Easter eggs at the hanso foundation web site, but I do periodically check in with Persephone for new updates--omigod did I just say that out loud? Hey b- I need a t shirt "SAVE JOOP" put that on my list as well as "TOOL AND DOUCHEBAG"
So does anyone beside me have any ideas on LOST? Where are they? Who are they? Are they all twins? Huh' cause that really was jack in Iceland making the phone call! Yes I will confirm that!

I have nothing new on mcdreamy or the office girls at this time, check back next week I will have more updates!

I am out-snackbox!

Well here I am .. Another day in Paradise! Or NOT.

At this time tomorrow I will be having a cholecystectomy=gall bladder removal.
In case you all don't know what the gall bladder is, here is the definition from my bedside medical dictionary: an organ in which bile from the liver is stored. Basically, this is where all the fatty foods you eat are broken down after it passes through your stomach!
This whole gall bladder thing started I would say about 2-3 months ago! I knew I had a gall bladder problem, but yet everyone just rolled their eyes at me and said "uh huh...Yeah let me know how that turns out!" But last week after working with MCdreamy for the entire week (that's an entire blog in itself) I asked for a CONSULTATION! I told him that I think I have a gall bladder problem, once he looked at me and said "fine, I will send you to the hospital for a sonogram, but really I don't think there is anything wrong with you" ....I make that appointment and guess what! I have freakin polyps on my gall bladder, oh no.. I just cant have the regular gall stones I have to have polyps. Who gets polyps on their gall bladder--I DO! I googled this and found out only 10% of the population in the entire WORLD gets polyps. And of course I would have this! Random diseases is my middle name! And you think I am kidding! So, I am off to the surgeon...And tomorrow is my surgery. This is where the good stuff comes in...Yesterday I had to have an EKG, so I called mcdreamy, to have that done. I go in, take off my t-shirt and bra and put on the paper vest...I am thinking he never does these, the girls in the office do...What do I care if they see my chest? But NO...I cant have a normal EKG, the results look like I am having a GRAND MAL seizure! I am not kidding...After the 8th try MCdreamy comes in and attempts to get this right! Hell NO, he can't ..After he has felt me up, removed my paper vest and totally man handled me.. He still cant get a reading. SO as I am laying there,like a girls gone wild in the doctors office video, he is re-arranging the leads on my left breast, I am thinking " At least I am on my back, this is pretty much the best position for me to be in while naked. Cause I don't think its real pretty if gravity was involved! Finally, he looks at me and tells me I am going to have to go to the hospital to get this done...Due to my boobs are too big for his MACHINE to work properly. I look at him and say I am just a "C" , he then looks down at my chest and says REALLY, a C? Huh? As I turn 5 shades of red, and think to myself oh this is so over, he so is never going to ask me out, IT IS SO OVER! And the worst part of this is... He chats with me in the room, I think he felt like he had to do the obligatory post-naked small talk thing! Like he had to take me to breakfast the next morning or something, or he was waiting for me to say "call me sometime". After it was all over he told me of course things just cant be easy with you... And I told him as I was walking out the door "its all about Julie"
So after this surgery, I have basically nothing left.. I am hoping soon, that I will be doing stupid human tricks with PASTA. And I am hoping I don't have to explain where the pasta goes and ends up to anyone out there.. Let your imagination run wild with that statement. I will be the only girl who can basically floss her entire body!! I only have an appendix left to be removed and if we go past that then I will end up with a BAG of some sort, I don't wish that upon myself or anyone else.
So while I am convalescing, I will be thinking of new tales to tell. And by the way, I need my friends to help me do some undercover investigative reporting . We need to go to happy hour at On the border, Lunch at Pei wei or even better a Friday nite spent at the cheesecake factory! OH YEAH,,, hours of entertainment there. I will wear my pointy shoes and dig out a Coach purse for this one! So lets set the date!

and just as a side note, here are some great oxymorons!
alone together, same difference, taped live, plastic glasses, working vacation, virtual reality, healthy tan--my personal favorite!

I am out! SNACKBOX

Thought for the day

This is my thought for the day! Will write more later.....The new chapter of Sparklepussy barbie and her friends The Janky Girls soon to come! I'm out! SNACKBOX